It Hurts.. Just stop..

Am I really that useless ?

All de seniors use me

Band members hate me

Teacher gossip bad things about me

I wanna cry out loud !

Please !

Stop everything !

Tears are coming out

My heart hurts

A lot

Please

Just let me die

Eu don't really love me

Eu just love her

It's all my fault ?

I know..

I don't wanna blame anyone

I blame myself

For being so useless

Ugh..

I feel disgusting..

Why my tears won't stop

My heart hurts

STOP

Enough..

Don't continue

Please

How long can I hold on ?

I'm at my limit now..

Please..

Stop..

It hurts.. 

Am I really that useless ?

All de seniors use me

Band members hate me

Teacher gossip bad things about me

I wanna cry out loud !

Please !

Stop everything !

Tears are coming out

My heart hurts

A lot

Please

Just let me die

Eu don't really love me

Eu just love her

It's all my fault ?

I know..

I don't wanna blame anyone

I blame myself

For being so useless

Ugh..

I feel disgusting..

Why my tears won't stop

My heart hurts

STOP 

Sorry No Cure !

Eu know ma ?

I really tired

You are one of them

The type of people who just be friends with me

To be close with sis

Eu say,

I'm not like my sis

I thought

I believe eu

When I finally trust eu

Eu change

At first say I not like sis

Now,

Say I sebiji with her

I really don't understand eu

Did you lie to me ?

Or you not sure I sebiji with sis ?

I just wanna cry

Do you know my feelings ma ?!

I've suffered

And I'm suffering now

Say what eu forget her

Say what eu don't love her anymore

I know eu still love her as kai jie

I really pain now

But,

eu won't comfort me

Just comfort Qiu Ling

I wanna cry

I know one..

No need explain..

:')

I understand 

Sorry for not being perfect 

Sorry for not being my sis..

I sorry for everything

I'm just

Sorry

for everything

I know I say no use

You won't come back..

You Really Don't Know ?

You really don't know ?

She treat eu like a sister

Honestly,

I don't feel like her sister also

Feel like stranger

Especially band de time

People say I lie when I say she is my sis

She treat eu a lot better,

Eu know ma ?

I already getting tired

Of being jealous of eu

You have everything I don't

:)

I don't want it to change also

I just want to say..

Please take care of her

As I know you still love her

And she still love eu

I can just see it in both ur eyes

You know that ?

It's okay if eu don't admit it

Everyone thinks that way also

Haha :)

Today was fun

I'll remember it

Say dao this kind of relationship..

I miss Shu Qing also already

But,

Miss no use de

Eu talk to me these days

Doesn't mean our relationship

Is getting any better

I want things to stay as it is

Sis being and making people happy

:)

If you're happy

I'm happy

Yeah

I want to be happy with you and everyone else

But,

It's fine

At least the two people I love happy

If eu are reading this,

Please..

Take care of her for me

I can't always stay there for her forever

But,

I know she will stay with you forever

Goodbye,

Xiao Jun

:')

So True ? Sorry..

Today finish band

Finally lo

But,

Band people complain

I very very noisy

They say

that they don't want me

to join them wherever they go

I hurt dao la of course

But,

Also true right ?

I was just thinking

To change unit uniform

To St.John

What should I do ?

If I change leh..

Band sure happy

Even no me,

Still got Qiu Ling ma

What was I thinking ?

To think that all band members like me ?

Stupid hor me ?

I am really really tired today

To all the band members,

I'm sorry for all the trouble

And thank you for everything..

:)

Rest more ya..

A lot of things oh.. :)

It's Sports Day already !

Tomorrow is finally the day..

Wa,

Excited lo !

xD

I practice song at band

Wa.. Really happy lo !

It's like I just all the member now..

Although we met like more than 6 months ago

Wow !

Fantastic baby !

xD

Today really good mood

But gam jiong for tomorrow

Play trumpet leh !

Always blow wrong note !

><

Luckily, got senior cover for me

Muahaha !

I like,

Just know everyone only

Last time

Diam diam there nia

But now,

NOISY LU !

Band really made me happy

Hope next time can do again

Hope this year la

I don't want de senior go..

T.T

I had fun

Lots and lots of fun..

:)

Then hor..

I suddenly like to watch the movie..

'Narnia'

xD

So interested wor

Don't know why

_ _ll

Very nice to watch !

Must see must see !

Fantasy show

I more interested in real life !

These kind of shows just hobby

;)

Then o..

Today at band

I like the mother oh..

I feed everyone chocolate (rocky) de

Then have to buy for them chocolate

Then feed them spicy seaweed

==

So young become mother ?

xD

Funny part is feed KerWon (president) de time

Very hard to explain 

But really funny

Ah !

Today got polish instrument also leh !

I feel like a boss when polish de time

So pro oh

xD

Senior teach me de

Me newbie nia

Next year my turn to teach juniro

;)

Tomorrow finally the day !

To all band members !

Gambateh !

:)

Tomorrow I treat seaweed

Bye bye !

And,

Goodnight !

No Comment..

Erm..

Today very bad mood

I just want to shout to the world..

Fuck you !

Damn it..

Haiz..

I really nothing to say..

==

People LC ad nowadays

Especially form 2

_ _ll

The people I hate most

First

Good good with them

But later,

B
E
T
R
A
Y

.

.

Deii

Its not like I do anything to them

They say what crap I admire them

Scared their past will happen again

Please la

I friend friend with both of you

 Because I friend with everyone

Deii

The two form 2 arrr..

Kick them in the ass only

But cannot

Just because one is PRS

And one is Pengawas

=.=

I hate those two the most !

Other people is okay de

But

Seriously these two

Walao

Really no comment

==

Tired of them

I just want to change school

I don't want same school with both of them

Deii

Then got one form 3

Think I like her ?!

I used to like her

But,

I see her 'bad' side liao

Treat me like trash

I know I'm not perfect

At least tell me

What's about me that eu don't like

I can change

But,

You call everyone don't friend me

Just because eu heard rumours about me

I hate rumours de most !

Especially about band de time

I first join band

I really like it

Very fine de

But people go say band worst

Because I inside

Walao

Say what band no talent la

Waste time la

Bullshit la !

I know I not that good

But,

Don't go talk about other things

Okay

You can say me

But don't say band

Okay with me

You want to fight ?

Ma come la

Say dao like that

Who wrong first ?

Don't go blaming band just because I in it

You very good is it ?!

You got friends you very pro ?!

Got pretty face means eu geng ?!

You want say about band..

Come say to me

No need go gossip fake things about band

You want complain

Complain to me

No need waste your saliva on other people

Don't think you pro !

Eu join another club means you very popular ?!

Don't think crap la

 Please la

Deii

People like eu arr

Really nothing to say

I know I not popular like eu

I know I not cute or anything

I know I not that useful

But,

Don't say band

You wan say me

Say la !

I don't care

Keep your damn mouth shut

If concern band

We are trying the best to be better

You do what ?

Talk talk talk

At least band members are trying hard

Just because I'm in band 

Doesn't mean band not good

Walao eh

Really

No comment

==

How Are You ?

How have eu been ?

Today tired ma ?

Sleeping early ?

I'm curious..

I just wanna know

That's all

:)

I know I'm annoying

That's why eu abandoned me

Waiting for eu

I've been waiting for more than

3 days

But no reply from eu

I thought we could be friends like normal

But,

You just don't want 

Right ?

I've been sitting in the silence for long enough

I've had enough

I know I leave you

I know my fault

I know everything

I'm sorry

I know you won't talk to me anyway

It's just me

I'm the problem here

If eu understand why

Fine..

As long as eu know why

Sorry for wasting your efforts

I know I'm the first friend 

you want take back

I'm the first person 

you gave letter to in secondary

I know I'm you first

little brother

I'm actually really happy

Before and now

:)

I want you

I see you 

with other junior de time

Really stab dao my heart

Pain la

You know ma ?

I want you back

But

you told me you don't want me anymore

I wasted ur effort

Here I am

Saying sorry to you

Today,

You were standing in front me

I thought I can talk to you..

Haha

You must let go of the past

I know that

But

I can't

I haven't learn how to let go

It's because of my past I was suffering

Now,

What do I do ?

I want to stand in front you

And ask you properly,

How are you..

Jogathon !

Woo Hoo !

Today..

Run !

Haha

So tired o..

I only one shouting when running

I shout

''Cepat Form 1 ! Lari !,

Form bloeh !''

Everyone say I gila

But,

I'm happy I can support..

:)

Some also say

Thank you wor !

Because of me..

And my shouting ;)

They continue to run

Wa..

I so touched when I heard..

xD

Too bad no one shout with me..

Oh well !

I was really happy today

But then got terrible headache

My left hand like worse liao

(Because injection)

==

Then my leg sore like hell !

I sleep because my stomcah and head pain

I wake up de time

My neck cannot move

My head turn left when I sleep ma

Wake up de time

Cannot turn left

Suii lu !

Then got tuition

Deii

_ _ll

But at least 

got chat with Hui Ying (form 2)

It was a tiring day

But hey,

I had fun,didn't I ?

;)

A Good Deed

Today so happy !

;)

Because I just got a message from

Azimah !

She say her father just came back

:)

I'm so glad

I always see her cry at school

I feel sad also

T.T

But,

We did a small present for her

I was really glad that she liked it

We gave her a box

That box had small notes

That was for her and her dad

Saying

Don't be sad..

Be strong

I was really surprised many people wrote it !

:)

Haha

I guess I don't need to pray anymore

Her dad came back safe,

I'm really glad..

=]

I hope eu and ur family always happy !

I know eu reading this Azimah !

;)

Don't sad anymore !

Wow.. I understand..

I understand..

You're not alone

That knows that feeling

:)

Yeah..

I'm talking about you

Feels special

When you get a single text

From the one

You love

Right ?

Just one text

Eu feel happy enough

Am I wrong ?

I expecting an SMS from someone too

Waiting useless also

I won't see her again anyway

:)

Yeah

It hurts,right ?

You heart

When you expect a message from him/her

You didn't receive

I'm still waiting

For her and him

Last time I thought

you wouldn't mind

If I kacau you

But,

I am..

Aren't I ?

I miss the times

When I hold my phone

And waiting for my phone to ring

Now,

It's gone

Either is fine

Him

Or her

I don't mind

I miss both of you

I wait my phone to ring

Although my ringtone was noisy

I hold it tight

Because I know that eu will reply

But,

Why ?

Huh?

You completely ignore me now..

I don't care

Whatever happens..

Just a text is alright for me

Do you know ?

I'm lonely now

Result coming out

Who's going to be there for me

If I don't get good result

Who'll be there for me

If I'm crying

Who'll be there for me

When I miss them ?

No one..

I've waited

I'm waiting

I will wait

Both of you

:)

Bye Bye T_T

Uwahh !

Holiday gone ad..

Yerr..

Soo fast

Oh well..

Didn't go anywhere also

What holiday 

=.=

Waiting next holiday

At August

Which got

DYC Camp !

Should I be happy of sad ?

I sure sad

All the damn LC senior there

=.=

Walao

All become helper !

Deii

Lucky didn't group with them

_ _ll

So excited o

Sunday going to cut my hair

Front

Back

Side

And

Layour

Mom say go cut botak

I don't want my nightmare to come true

T_T

Yerr

My front hair at the nose there ad

Back hair can tie liao

Good news la can tie

I tell mom want tie

Mom say I gila ad

T_T

Hurt dao deep

Muahaha

When finish cut hair

I post !

;)

Bye bye Holiday

I'll never forget eu ~

:)

Apasaii ?

Yesterday..

I dream..

Something horrible

But very very very funny

Haha !

Enjoy ! 

;)

My dream

Last night

I dreamt..

Everyone go B.O.T.A.K

Ahaha !

I see everyone

All shiny shiny head de

I see mirror

I got hair !

Thank GOD !

I ask mom

Y U BOTAK LIAO ?!

Mom says,

I FOLLOW OBAMA !

I ask

Y U FOLLOW OBAMA ?!

SHOULD FOLLOW
THE ROCK !
OH YEAH !!!!

Mom said,

SHUT UP !
GO CUT BOTAK NOW !!

And then,

I woke up !

I go check my sister's hair

Wa..

Still curly and long

If short

Like Phua Chu Kang

:\

Haha !

I sad

My childhood friend leaving

She moving away

Cause her dad and mom

got promotion as doctor..

Walao eh !

Like this also can happen ?!
Biang eh !

=.=

I sien with this liao..

I really really TBT liao

(TBT = Tak Boleh Tahan)

Zzz..

Lagi worse is..

Everyone keep talking to me like a boss

Like they really rich..

=.=

Lagi teruk is that

People keep on repeating the damn word

L.O.L

At my face

I hate the word lol

To me & sis

lol = Zzz

So,

Stop saying lol at my face ! 

_ _ ll

You're Just Too Much !

Yeah !

I can't than eu ad !

I had enough liao

Yesterday scold me say I useless

This morning say I didn't charge ur phone !

Yesterday ming ming saw charging

But go blame without evidence

Damn !

you know who I talking about ?!

My own mother !

Walao..

Yesterday call give suggestion

For supper because eu hungry

Then I give suggestion

I joke joke say nasi lemak 3 times

The  scold me useless no reason !

Deii !

Then today say I never do things right !

If you wanna scold me..

Don't born me la !

Walao !

=.=

I don't even know if eu love me

Last time beat me because want to 'lepaskan geram'

Like my bro !

Zzz..

Do what no use..

Still my om anyway 

==

Always repeat I love eu

I love eu ur piak !

Piang eh !

I know eu hate me de !

Last time shout in the house say

I hate you

But when outside

Tell people eu love me !

Puii !

I hate this life the most !

What To Do Now ?

What to do..

What to do now..

I don't want all this shit

Damn..

I don't want this..

Many people go DYC

But,

All of them

Are my enemies

==

Especially that person !

Deii..

I wanna go DYC !

But,

I feel like want to change decision

Should I go ?

Or not ?

If only they didn't go..

Those damn form 5

Especially that damn girl !

Puii !

Walao..

This year most suii de year

==

I hate this year

Go back to last year,please ?

:)

Tang yuan :)

Ice skating :)

New year :)

Don't know :)

Cousin's wedding :)

My family :)

I understand that life's cruel

I wanna go back

to last time

When I still didn't understand

Suffer

Nothing good happens when I join secondary

But

I met you

Was the only good thing that happened..

;)